Second in my series of Bachelor Recipes is my hearty Ultimate Bachelor Breakfast Bowl. This makes a delicious and highly nutritious alternative to Frosted Flakes every morning and would probably impress a special overnight guest. (I’m sure my wife is going to be impressed when she gets back!)

Ingredients: Coffee (milk and sugar if desired), tater tots, garlic salt, butter-flavored cooking spray, pepper, 2-3 eggs, bacon bits, sour cream, grated cheese (type of cheese is up to you, but I recommend a cheddar-jack mix.)

Start coffee.

Get tater tots started (see Ultimate Bachelor Tater Tots recipe, above) but sprinkle bacon bits on top of tater tots and set timer for 37 minutes.

Add milk and sugar to coffee as desired.

Drinks some coffee (mmmmmm…) then go take a shower and shave.

Finish first cup of coffee.

When timer goes off, put a skillet on the stove and set temperature to medium-high.

Test skillet temp with a drop of water. When the droplet begins to sizzle and bounce, you’re ready to go.

Cook eggs as desired. (My favorite is over easy. For perfect eggs over easy…
Add a small amount of butter to the skillet.
Tip skillet in various directions to evenly coat bottom of skillet with melted butter then sprinkle bottom with garlic salt and pepper.
Add eggs and sprinkle more garlic salt and pepper.
Carefully flip when ready.)

Remove tots from oven and place in a bowl.

Sprinkle with cheese and add sour cream as desired.

Place eggs on top, then cut and mix everything together, coating tots in delicious egg yolk and sour cream!

Serve with 2nd cup of coffee and multivitamins. (I told you it was nutritious!)

Mexican-style variation: put the sour cream on top, along with a glob of guacamole and some salsa. Delicioso!

When you finish eating (YUM!) wash out skillet, bowl and utensils, and put CLEAN cookie sheet away. Now you’re ready in case you bring home a hot date tonight! (Not applicable in my case, but for you true bachelors…)

Once your food settles, head to the gym and work off some of those calories. (You did use non-fat sour cream, I hope!)

This delicious breakfast is so hearty, it eliminates the need for lunch (unless you overdo it at the gym.) This saves you both money and unnecessary extra calories!

Extra added bonus: If you make this at least 3 times a week, you’ll get at least 3 showers and be clean-shaven at least 3 times a week!

Welcome to the third installment of my Ultimate Bachelor Recipe series. This recipe kicks butt on the crummy recipe on the m&c box which is loaded with fat. (It calls for margarine and low fat milk which we will not be using!) And the taste? Fuhgeddaboudit - no competition!

Ingredients:
One box cheap-ass store brand Mac-n-Cheese (or whatever is on sale cheapest.)
A handful of shredded cheddar (or cheddar-jack mix) cheese
One can non-fat condensed milk
One can tuna in water

Fill pot to about 1/3 and place on burner set to highest setting.

When water comes to a rapid boil, dump in macaroni and stir. (If you don’t know what a rapid boil is, call your mom.)

Let macaroni cook for 5 or 6 minutes. Then drain. (If you don’t have a colander – or know what one is – hold the lid loosely but firmly in place on with one hand while tipping the pot into sink. Use a hot mitt on the hand holding the lid; the steam will burn you!)

Add powdered cheese packet and can of condensed milk.

Stir well until it’s all mixed up. (I.e. none of the macaroni is bright orange.)

Add handful of shredded cheese and mix well until cheese is melted. (Cheesy sauce should be nicely thickened. If not, add more cheese, but be careful not to make it too thick. It will thicken more as it cools.)

Drain can of tuna then add to mac-n-cheese.

Mix well.

Serve with 1-4 bottles of beer. (Sierra Nevada Pale Ale complements it nicely.)

Enjoy!

In this, my 4th and final (for now, anyway) installment of Ultimate Bachelor Recipes, I’ll teach you to make an unforgettable dinner that’s sure to impress that special someone. (Krista says this is how I won her heart! WOOT!)

This recipe looks formidable but it’s actually pretty easy. Be sure to read the whole thing over, though, before beginning.

Ingredients:

2 boneless chicken breasts (I’ve never seen a boneless chicken. If anyone out there has a photo, please do send it!)

1 stick of butter

1 bottle cheap white wine

1 bottle good white wine

1 package Bearnaise sauce mix

1 can condensed non-fat milk (careful not to get the sweetened stuff!)

1/3 package mini (pasta) shells

A single pink rose (or red if you’re getting serious)

2-3 cups broccoli florets

Glad “Simply Cooking” bags

(These bag things ROCK. Keep ‘em around for any time you want some bachelor-style cooked fresh vegetables – cooking doesn’t get much easier than these things make it.)

Prep:

Remove half a dozen petals from the outer edges of the rose then put rose in a vase and place on dining table.

Put rose petals on a paper towel (folded into quarters), sprinkle with water and place in fridge.

Set out all ingredients, open packages, cans, etc. so they’re ready when you need them.

Begin cooking:

In a medium-sized pot, melt butter over low heat.

While butter is melting, rinse chicken breasts and cut into thin 3-4″ long strips (they should be about the size of your pinky – maybe a little thicker)

Add cheap white wine to butter and stir while increasing heat little by little. You want the very beginnings of a gentle boil (a few small bubbles here and there) If you get more than this, back off heat slightly and wait a minute or two. Repeat as necessary.

Add chicken strips to butter/wine mixture. Stir to coat chicken. Continue to stir gently until chicken starts to turn white. Cover and let simmer 30 minutes.

While you wait, pick out some music that will set the right mood and impress your special friend with your exquisite taste. (Some suggestions: Mozart, Chopin, Miles Davis, Dexter Gordon, Norah Jones, Chris Isaak, Jack Johnson, Dead Kennedys) (Just kidding about the DKs!)

Check on the chicken every 5 minutes or so to make sure you’ve got the right boil. Don’t stir or remove the lid (unless the lid isn’t see-through.) Once you’re sure you’ve got it right and it’s stable, you can stop checking it.

After 30 minutes, uncover chicken and increase heat a little to get a slow boil. (We’re “cooking out” some of the wine and chicken juices by allowing them to evaporate.)

Cook at a slow boil for 45 minutes to an hour, stirring occasionally and watching the level of the liquid, which should be reducing slightly.

While waiting for the chicken to cook, mix the remainder of the cheap white wine with ginger ale and pour over ice into a large glass. Drink. (Remember – never let alcohol go to waste!)

After an hour, scoop chicken from pot and place in a glass bowl. (Set aside the butter-wine mixture. We’ll be using it!) Place in oven at low heat (approx. 180 degrees)

Fill a small pot with water to 1/2 and place on burner over high heat.

Add a little bit (teaspoon) of olive oil – or squirt in a bit of cooking spray. Sprinkle a little garlic salt on top

While waiting for water to come to a fast boil, pour liquid from chicken pot into a mixing bowl. Gradually add sauce mix while stirring with a whisk, then gradually add 1/2 can of condensed milk while stirring with a whisk.

Microwave sauce mixture on high for 3 minutes.

While waiting, put good white wine in an ice bucket to chill. (Don’t just stick it in the fridge or freezer – the trick here is to chill it but not get it too cold. (The fact that you know that white wine should be chilled but not too cold should impress your date.)

By now the water should have reached a fast boil. Add pasta shells and stir (to make sure they don’t stick to each other).

When the microwave beeps, remove the sauce mixture and stir with a whisk. If it has thickened, whisk in the rest of the milk, if not put it back in the microwave on high for two more minutes.

Wash broccoli florettes and place in one of the Glad cooking bags.

When the microwave beeps again, remove the sauce mixture, stir with a whisk and microwave for two more minutes on high.

When the sauce is done, put the bag of broccoli florets in the microwave and cook per instructions on the bag.

When the broccoli is halfway done, drain the shells. (Drain well – you really don’t want them watery.)

When the broccoli is done, place the chicken over a bed of shells and arrange the broccoli nicely on the opposite side of the plate. Pour bearnaise sauce over everything. (Nicely – don’t just drench everything!)

Garnish plates with rose petals and served with chilled wine.

This holiday season, my gift to you, gentle reader, is a carefully crafted playlist that will play on any computer with Flash. Spanning multiple genres from standards to jazz to rock to soul to country, it took me hours to create. I hope it will give you hours of enjoyment.

Have a safe and happy Holiday Season and may your New Year be bright!

Click on your gift to unwrap it!

P.S. You may not like every song, but if you create a (free) seeqpod account, you can use it as the basis for your own playlist, deleting the songs you don’t like. Enjoy!

Frum left ta rite, them ther's Bubba, Cletus an Jethro. They's huntn dawgs!

Photo Evidence Leaked in Salacious Moose Case!

Bullwinkle Charged With Statutory Rape- Photo Evidence Leaked!

Local law enforcement officials agree- it’s an open and shut case of statutory rape. Moose faces likely prison term.

I call this, ‘Life Without Krista’

I miss her.

Jimi Hendrix was born on this date in 1942. He died less than 28 years later.

More than a star, Jimi was a supernova. Arguably the most influential guitarist in the history of rock and roll, Jimi burst onto the scene in 1967 with the breathtaking release of Are You Experienced. He gave us unforgettable classics like Purple Haze, Hey Joe, Manic Depression, Red House, and my own personal favorite, The Wind Cries Mary.

And that was just on the first album.

Jimi’s star shone ever so brightly for less than 4 years, but in that short time he changed the art of playing electric guitar in ways and to an extent that no one before or since has ever done. This may never be more evident than in his stunning performance of The Star Spangled Banner, but to fully appreciate Jimi’s impact, you need to see his epic performance of Wild Thing at the Monterey International Pop Festival.

While Jimi’s tragic, premature death is often attributed to a drug overdose, the sad truth is a bit more gruesome (or, if you believe the conspiracy theorists, more gruesome still). Who knows what Jimi might have accomplished had he lived longer – but even as they stand, his accomplishments are legendary.

Happy birthday, Jimi. Fly on, Little Wing